Tattooed Insight

I got a new tattoo recently.  Since I already sport ink, it was not a huge revelation to many of those nearest and dearest to me that would actually notice a new pigment augmentation on my skin.  However, my best friend’s mother saw it and quickly voiced her opinion that tattoos are gross.  We didn’t linger on the topic for too long, but she made her sentiment known and then dropped it for other verbal pursuits.  What a revelation in that moment that I took absolutely no offense to her comment.  Because I love her.  Unconditionally.  And I know that she loves me.  Unconditionally.  In fact, as I left her home that day she said, “Can I just love you and hate your tattoos?”  
 
The unequivocal answer is yes.  Both can exist.  Duality exists.  It's a real thing that infiltrates most of our human interactions.  The self-help genre has long espoused a notion (and I’m primarily pointing the finger at those on the shelf towards the romantic end) that you have to love all the things about someone if you truly love them.  Because everything always has to boil down to an all or nothing simplistic equation to truly understand if you do or do not love someone.  Horse manure.  Totally stinks of fecal matter, false.  That is not love.  Look a little further up the self-help aisle.  That’s right next to the full-on psychology section because it’s delusional thinking.  Perhaps what ails us as a nation tearing our cultural mosaic apart has a lot more to do with what we rail against instead of what we take the time to understand, and either embrace or distance ourselves from in our PERSONAL choices.  I give you shouty capitals because we have the distinct privilege of having individual choices in this country.  That’s still something to wave our proverbial nah-nah-nah-nah-boo-boo childish hand gestures about since we have it and others don’t.
 
I don’t get to make choices for anyone other than myself.  That’s not my right.  When I try to take that right from someone or something else, I do so falsely thinking that control is anything other than an illusion.  I cannot control whether or not someone “likes” my new tattoo more than I can make someone adopt all my ideals.  What fun would that be?!  Let’s all think, and dress, and act alike.  That way we all know we’re all on the “right” side.  Again, smells of fecal infested falsehood to me.  If you’re engaging in an argument, you’ve already lost.  Be you.  Do you.  Love all.  Teach compassion and kindness.  Reject hatred in your own heart and personal choices.  Let’s start there and see how it goes.  M’kay?  Thanks.  That is all.